The social network sacrifice...

This week, following my work leaving party, I’ve felt things are starting to hit home to that fact that I’m not only leaving a great work social group, but a network of friends and contacts in the UK built up over 11 years since arriving in the UK at the age of 12. Over those years I became strongly dependent on this network and made huge efforts to grow and maintain it since home was 8000 miles away and I needed the support where my parents or siblings could not provide through my teens. Pursuing an MBA in California means sacrificing this network. In the end it’s not that bad a sacrifice- in actual fact, the “network” I have has actually evolved and become very fragmented, not only geographically with some of my friends leaving the UK to head to far flung places such as Japan, France and Australia, but also in types of social groups. In London for instance, although my school friends are largely in a cohesive group in the centre of London, my uni friends are much more widespread and largely hang around their work related groups. This has given me a headache as far as visiting people as I have to dedicate days or sometimes whole weekends to properly keep in touch with a wide number of people- I’m not the sort of person who is satisfied with a quick 1 hour drink in the bar to catch up 2 years of non-contact nor a huge party where you will probably get to talk to people for no longer than 5-10 minutes in total. Of course huge parties are always required! I just tend to really value spending a huge amount of time with my friends building up relationships on a one to one or in groups of 3 or 4 to know everything in detail and if possible go out for a meal or night out- i.e. proper socialising, not a quick hello, goodbye scenario. I do this to such an extent that normally people turn to me on for a “full update” on a particular friend that others have not really bothered catching up with sufficiently. Take my work leaving party this last week, there was such a wide range of people there who were constantly asking each other “so how do you know Mbwana?”, rather than “Oh, everyone in here is part of the same office/football/salsa club”. Yes, I have to accept the fact that people are now on their own path of life and we can never all be one happy family forever such as at school or university days- people do develop more and more unique identities and eventually narrow down their social interactions.
At Stanford I know I’ll make some amazing friends and build up a great network but in time too, this will start to become fragmented- some people will stay in the bay area, others back to their home countries etc… However, I think the strength of alumni services will make it increasingly easier to stay in touch, and I don’t have to play the role of Mr. give us a “full update” on so and so.
This weekend I’m visiting my undergrad uni town, the amazing Bristol, where the centre of my life evolved 3-4 years ago and where I could never imagine leaving such an ideal place- school & uni friends, excellent nightlife and so on. Now everyone’s gone including those who got jobs there following graduation, in fact I can now only count 3 solid contacts there… I suppose the network sacrifice I’m making seems manageable because I’m single, 23 and accustomed to travelling all the time- I’m sure in 5-10 years time I’ll think differently through lifestyle changes and I won’t be willing to give up a social network that easily… Anyhow, there’s always a chance you’ll be in for some surprises- who would have guessed that an old friend of mine from primary/elementary school days in Kenya, now lives in San Francisco and is an aspiring DJ.
In some ways, timing to pursue an MBA for me now could not have been more perfect. My mobile phone bill should also decrease considerably now! Or will it not?